Category Archives: books

Musings on…. My Dream Ministry


I am going through the Penn Foster Veterinary Technician program online. 50 years old and going back to college. not so easy.

Perfectionism is killing my vibe.

But lately my dreams are leading me in a different direction. The idea of a clearinghouse for stuff comes to mind.

A place to have tables set up for different ministries that want different things.

Crayon Initiative, Operation Christmas Child, eyeglass ministry, bible and book ministry. Foster care ministries.

I picture a huge front room with tables in a circle with the different ministries advertising on the tables, boxes and brochures, lists of items needed.

I picture a website with the ministries and items wanted, hours open and requirements for the ministry.

This wouldn’t be open to the public unless the ministry did a food or clothes pantry and they were there to organize the pick ups.

Ministries would have to pick up donations weekly or when needed and we would have hours that people could drop their items off.

I’m thinking noon to 9, Tuesday through Saturday.

We would need volunteers for manning the bldg. Money for rent, utilities, and postage for the ministries that are not in state/town.

The ministries would be anything…animal related, religious or not, people, here, in country, out of country.


My son has a desire to have a bldg for nonprofits to rent an office space for little rent.

If we could find a bldg that did both, that would be super.

Even a house type setting would be good, or a warehouse. I’m not sure what would work the best.

I don’t really know where to begin… I’m thinking of contacting some ministries that I am interested in and having them send over some artwork or tri fold or info for the website and table.

Then just use my house or garage, altho hubby doesn’t want me to use garage.

Sigh, why can’t I just have unlimited income to get this started?

Let me know your thoughts!!

Here is a link to the ministry page

Hope Mercantile Collective


Musings on… Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward



This book has been very eye opening, sad, depressing and painful. Yet a very, very good read.

I can only read a chapter or two at a time. I have discovered I am way more of a toxic parent than I originally thought.

And my own parents, especially my mother is very toxic. Which I knew. Most of the techniques I have already ‘done’ in healing, but it is hard to fully heal with the toxic parent still being toxic.

With that being said,

Wisdom Garden of the Lord


As i was frantically searching for my Valley of Vision, WHICH I CANT FIND, I found this on my shelf.

Pulled it out and read the first two meditations.

This sentence popped out of me:

Every day a thousand voices speak into my life and the vast majority of those voices have not gotten the flowers of their insight from the wisdom garden of the Lord.

He goes on to say all the [negative] things they tell him about who he is and and how he should live.

We all should go to the One True voice, we should all go sit in the wisdom garden at the feet of the Messiah.



The Lord’s our Rock, in Him we hide,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Secure whatever ill betide,
A Shelter in the time of storm.


Oh, Jesus is a Rock in a weary land,
A weary land, a weary land;
Oh, Jesus is a Rock in a weary land,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

A shade by day, defense by night,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
No fears alarm, no foes afright,
A Shelter in the time of storm.


The raging storms may round us beat,
A Shelter in the time of storm
We’ll never leave our safe retreat,
A Shelter in the time of storm.


O Rock divine, O Refuge dear,
A Shelter in the time of storm;
Be Thou our Helper ever near,
A Shelter in the time of storm.

from here

3 Book Reviews ~ A Weird Variety




Does it matter? My husband and I have already paid for our deaths. Nice thought, eh?

Well, we didn’t want it to be a burden to our boys. We have decided to be cremated. Not quite sure what to do with the ashy remains yet, but maybe the boys can decide that.

I have read the pros and cons of this debate and think its a bit weak on the burial side. I know what has been done in iniquity but I also know God can raise up anyone of His Elect when He returns no matter how they die or were laid to rest. I’m pretty sure this isn’t a hill He wants us to die on defending.

Is burial MORE pleasing to God? I don’t know. I do know that it won’t matter in heaven.


download (1)

No, God isn’t anti-gay. God is anti-sin. This was a great little book defining, again, the verses of the old and new testament, “the clobber verses” about homosexuality. Written in an easy to understand and kind way, it made me come back to realize how I am to look at this ‘situation’. I might have to read this again and again.


download (2)


A friend of mine suggested this book, so I grabbed it. It is in book study form with questions at the end of each chapter and a bonus chapter for church leaders.

If you have never been a victim or a perpetrator of church gossip you may not think this too much of a problem. But I have been in gossips devastating path and it wounds.

We tend to overlook the respectable sins [also a book by  Jerry Bridges] [a mighty good read, also]

but these cut just as deep as the ‘big sins’. Most of the book is common sense, but even in the christian arena/church, people tend to lack common sense.

It’s a book to think about maybe doing a  small group study from, or to read yourself, just to remind yourself if you have been impacted by gossip or have done the gossiping… maybe apologizing to someone is in order.


There are my not-so-amazing book reviews. As you can tell my reading material is pretty eclectic. Some many books still to read.

Love ya, The Home Engineer

A Sampling of Books I have Read about Homosexuality


I was asked to list resources I thought were good for christian parents of LGBT kids. Here is a sampling.

Hopefully they are link to Amazon. If you have any questions about any of the books, please ask me.

Love Is an Orientation: Elevating the Conversation with the Gay Community by Andrew Marin and Brian McLaren

A Parent’s Guide to Preventing Homosexuality by Joseph Nicolosi 

Shame and Attachment Loss: The Practical Work of Reparative Therapy by Joseph Nicolosi

Healing Homosexuality: Case Stories of Reparative Therapy by Joseph Nicolosi

Homosexuality: A New Christian Ethic by Elizabeth R. Moberly

Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality by Wesley Hill and Kathryn Greene-McCreight

Growth into Manhood: Resuming the Journey by Alan Medinger

The Battle for Normality: A Guide for (Self-)Therapy for Homosexuality by Gerard J. M. Van Den Aardweg

In Quiet Desperation: Understanding The Challenge Of Same-gender Attraction by Fred Matis, Marilyn Matis and Ty Mansfield

Crisis in Masculinity by Leanne Payne

Healing Homosexuality by Leanne Payne

After the Ball: How America Will Conquer Its Fear and Hatred of Gays in the 90’s by Marshall Kirk and Hunter Madsen

Coming Out of Homosexuality: New Freedom for Men and Women by Bob Davies and Lori Rentzel

You Don’t Have to Be Gay: Hope and Freedom for Males Struggling With Homosexuality or for Those Who Know of Someone… by Jeff Konrad

Someone’s Son: A Mother’s Fight for Her Gay, Drug Addicted Son by Brenda Rhodes

Beyond Acceptance: Parents of Lesbians & Gays Talk About Their Experiences
 by Carolyn W. Griffin and Marian J. Wirth


in my library but not read yet, I still recommend based on authors.

Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God. A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope. by Christopher YuanAngela Yuan and Kay Warre

Broken Image, The: Restoring Personal Wholeness through Healing Prayer by Leanne Payne

The Bible and Homosexual Practice: Texts and Hermeneutics by Robert A Gagnon and Robert A. J. Gagnon

Loving a Prodigal: A Survival Guide for Parents of Rebellious Children by H. Norman Wright and Norm Wright

What’s A Parent To Do? by C. S. Lovett (1971)


Family Therapies: A Comprehensive Christian Appraisal by Mark A. Yarhouse and James N. Sells

Eros Defiled: the Christian & Sexual Sin by John White

Surviving Sexual Brokenness: What Grace Can Do by Thom Hunter

The Complete Christian Guide to Understanding Homosexuality: A Biblical and Compassionate Response to Same-Sex… by Joe Dallas and Nancy Heche

The Homosexual Agenda: Exposing the Principal Threat to Religious Freedom Today by Alan Sears and Craig Osten

Homosexuality and the Christian: A Guide for Parents, Pastors, and Friends by Mark A Yarhouse

Anything by Leslie Vernick

Moving Along… Slowly but Surely


So, when I want to go off on a rant, instead of posting here, I head to Facebook.

Here are some of the recent things I’ve posted:

The Battling Christian is a guy, a great guy, a christian guy, a pastor, a leader, an avid study-er of the Word and he likes guys. BUT he loves his God more and writes about his struggles. If I knew him, I would give him a big hug and tell him I loved him.


Someone needs to carve me up a pumpkin with this on it. Please and thank you. Pinterest is also the devils playground, and by that I mean an awful timewaster but fun to participate in.


This is amusing, but not so much. In this sex saturated world we live in this does not help. Nor does it help girls growing up or the girls whose mothers let them dress like this.


15 Things Wives Should Stop Doing….and I do every single damn one of them. Such a sinner I am. 😦


This makes me sad. An actual church service. It is terrible that the church feels it must ‘entertain’ seeker-sensitive people to get them into church. to worship God. The God that saves them. The God that delivers them. Shouldn’t that be exciting enough?


Currently working on a new set of dreads. I don’t know if I can commit to 2 years of the same hairstyle. Never have before. But we shall see.

Work is great, loving my job, walking 3 sets of dogs a day with random dog and cat feedings on the weekends. Just enough to keep me out of trouble.


I have a friend on FB that is posting mean-spirited things about presidential candidates. Mind you, there is more than one, but this one isn’t usually like this. We got into a bit of a conversation about freedom of speech and how the words they were using were not kind and loving and Christ-like, but in the end:


This little bugger WAS going up for adoption, but look at those ears! We are freaking in love with this JoeJoe Yakama Pasquan:

I took him from the rez because he had no name, no owners, no food or water and got picked on by the bigger dogs.

By the way, the missions trip was by far the most wonderful thing to happen in a very long time. Happiest I have been in about 5 years. Will post about it later.


Last but not least, I posted this on FB and got quite a few ‘likes’ on the post, but no [discussion] comments:


Which i am surprised and saddened by that, because this is the truth:



OK, I think that’s enough spouting off today, will try to get back into the swing of this blogging thing

The Home Engineer