Daily Archives: April 14, 2017

Musings on….Influencers in My Life


Woke up wondering who was the major players who influenced my life. Good or Bad.

The usual suspects are mother, father [s], my aunt, my husband and son.

But not family related… kind of gave me pause to consider which gender had the most influence on me.

There was Paul, Steve and Bill in high school. Paul, my best friend who I tried to love like he loved me, and failed miserably.

Steve, who was my first love, he broke something inside me…  made me build my first long-lasting walls of protection. Bill, a scorned boyfriend who spray painted the high school wall “Kris Clayton is a bitch” forever  changing my senior year.

I did not have many close girl or guy friends in school.

I do know now that what happens in high school does change or mold a person and regardless of how it may seem to others, only you live that life and only you know how it affects oneself.

Kids who contemplate suicide or use negative coping skills, [cutting, drinking, sex, drugs, etc] probably do not know or were not taught correct coping skills. I digress.

After high school, my aunt and uncle were the most influential. My aunt was super smart and my uncle was a cop. I wanted to be a cop. I lived with them on and off the next few years.

The single years  [age 18 to 27] left me with lots of men but not a lot of influence. I had decided long ago I wouldn’t let another guy hurt me so I kept them at an arms length. Girlfriends were few. I worked. Alot. And women seemed petty. Guys as friends seemed a bit more practical. But they say you can’t just be friends with the opposite sex… I agree to a certain degree.

My husband and my son have the greatest influence on me since 1992. As any of you mothers and wives know… someone being in your life 24-7 does tend to make an impact.

Then there was God. The shadowy father figure no one has seen yet felt. The omni-potentate guardian of our souls. The savior, the priest, the king. All wrapped up in human form…Jesus.

Not wanting to make my Jim and Jesse in line with God, but they together have taught me patience, kindness, compassion, forbearance, love.

I was telling a friend yesterday that I have completely and utterly loved my son since day one and I am proud of him.

And lo and behold, after ‘letting’ God influence me, women friends popped up. Leslie, Dianna, Jacquie, Renee, Pam, Vicki, Genny, Barb, just to name a few. Old and young, wise and dumb 😉

I’ve come to see women friends as kindred spirits, not competition or just petty girls. I have a couple guy friends but they are husbands of my women friends.

i added them up and the genders of influence are equal, but the ladies are more positive than the men.

Who was/is your greatest influence?