My Arch Nemesis ~ Myself

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I think. Alot. Too much. I also can talk a lot. I need to talk, its my way of processing things, I guess.

I feel better when I have someone to talk to. I also have abused that right/privilege on occasion.

I used to talk to my son. About things that I probably shouldn’t have. Adult things, my things, problems, wishes, positive and negative.

I try to talk to my husband. He doesn’t listen very well. It makes me feel like I am not important to him. I get frustrated, disappointed and mad with him.

I have/had a few friends I could confide in but managed to make a mess out of that.

I started seeing a counselor. again. I have to pay to get to talk to someone. But I am trying to talk myself out of going to her. I wanted someone to just tell the things that were bothering me and have them tell me whether I was right or wrong. I pretty much know if I am in the wrong, I need to change. How to change… not so much.

Figuring out why I am like I am… not too hard.

Lots of family issues.

I try to talk to my mom. She does all the talking. Not a word gets in that doesn’t come from her mouth. Of course when I do get to talk, I get those words used against me. I was always talked down to, told I was stupid, not affirmed. My family is very negative. I inherited that. I hate that about myself.

I can almost self-counsel myself.

Example: why do I get mad at my hubby when he ignores me? How do I handle it? How can I get him to realize its important to me? If he just never gets it, how do I deal with it?

Its one thing to lay all your hope, joy and satisfaction in Christ. But quite another to walk it out in everyday life.

Why do I not like physical displays of affections? Why am I so negative? Why do harp/bitch/nag? Why do I get all angsty over certain stuff? Why do I let others get ‘under my skin’?

I have tried all the suggestions counselors have given me before. but they don’t seem to work. Why does my circumstances or other people affect my attitude so much?

How do i fix it?

 

 

 

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About Kristina

51 year old Christian lady, knitter, pet sitter/walker, bible collector, crafter, little business owner, thrill seeker (only when shopping at thrift stores for tremendous bargains) my animals servant, a child of God, saved, redeemed and trying to be joyful in a fallen world.

3 responses »

  1. I am finding the book “Feeling Good” by Burns to be extremely helpful in providing me tools to deal with errant feelings I don’t fully understand nor want.

    Might help, might not, but if I remember correctly, books are your “thing.”

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