Musings on… Life Right Now

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So, as of now, I deactivated my Facebook account. I was tired of seeing stuff about son and seeing on my news feed things, emotional things that were upsetting me way too much. I suppose I could go back and delete everyone and everything that gets me down, but this was just easiest for the time being.

My emotions have been so flip floppy since being off the prozac, but I am determined to stay off of them.

My son and I got into a huge ‘text’ fight [which is pretty damn ridiculous] because I asked him about his relationship with God. And according to him, it made him uncomfortable. Hmmm. [if someone asked me about my relationship with God, I wouldn’t be squirmy,but that just goes to show you where he is at]

He said that because I asked him about the relationship, that I was condemning him for not worshipping God the way I do. Not true. I was just checking because every day he seems to be slipping further away from anything God related and more into the gay activist scene. The very visible voice in all things equal rights.

To the world he has it all together. and he does. Finally figuring out what he wants to do with his life, starting school back up, new jobs, new opportunities with his volunteering, etc.

So, enough about the boy, we aren’t on speaking terms as of today.

He told me my pattern is bullying and guilting him when we try to have serious conversations.

His pattern is avoidance, defensiveness, blame and anger. no one is a winner in that game.

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Getting a new bike [new to me] Honda shadow 600. Took a ride to the local mountain and it was exhilarating and wonderful and wasn’t too scared about going over 45 mph.

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Gave blood today

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3 gallons!! Allen, a friend from the Yakama Nation, is visiting and came with me. He doesn’t understand why I would freely give away my own blood for someone I didn’t even know. Heck, why wouldn’t I? It’s the easiest resource to give, replenishable and doesn’t cost money. More people should do. This was the first time I got a bit light headed after. We had gone to lunch and when I was paying the bill I almost passed out.

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I’ve got more but I will leave it at that. Blessings.

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Update as of 8/23…after calling the dr. and telling her I wanted to kill our house guest… I got back on prozac, son and I are on speaking terms. Looking for a general practitioner and a counselor. Am starting a bible study in Sept. Helping the step-son with his upcoming wedding. Work is starting to pick back up and the farm animals needs to be fed. ciao

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