We need to be broken, totally broken, before we can be whole again.
We need to let go of holding it together, accept the price and consequences, stop and take in the pain of being broken into a million pieces, hope in the future wholeness with God.
This may have to happen more than once. Allow it. Sit in it.
My time may be coming again.
16 So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. 17 For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, 18 as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. 2 Corin 4