”Not if You are Actively Cleansing!”

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WARNING! This post has way too much info about Yours Truly. Proceed with caution:

10-Day

ACAI BERRY

EASY-CLEANSE

FAST & POWERFUL, yet GENTLE

10-Day Acai Berry Easy-Cleanse gently flushes away the waste clogging your digestive system literally pounds of excess matter that could be making you feel sluggish, bloated and backed-up.*

Costco reviews

Ok, so Day one, not a problem to be seen, I timed taking this so the first few days i wouldn’t be working. Silly me.

Second day,  everything is coming out well, twice a day.

Third day, I tell my hubby, ‘pieces of my colon are coming out’ ‘they are stuck to the bowl’ [this is why couples should keep that little ‘air’ of mystery about them, will make for a better marriage]

I ask my friend, Tonya, if she wants to walk a client with me. She states “not if you are actively cleansing!”

What does that even mean? To me it means.. in the loo. reading a book… window open.

Which I obviously can’t walk a dog and read a book. So we go. It’s cool. I leave pieces of my colon at her work for her to find.

Day 4, I’m starting to think I’m losing vital elements of my body. Seriously. I tell my hubby again that I am losing pieces of my colon as we walk the dogs around the block.

He is practically yelling at me “it’s just pieces of poop that have been stuck in your intestines” GROSS

Gross, gross, gross. I’m thinking, I wonder if there is still meat up there. Its been 3-4 years since I ate meat, but could there be? [November 2007. if anyone cares]

He used the other bottle and said he did fine on it. He did ask if I had any stomach aches yet and i told him no, just my stomach gurgling.

Day 5, I ate watermelon last night. I thought I was bleeding this morning. Watermelon, not pretty. almost gave it up…almost.  gurgling my way thru the day, i managed to eliminate whenever, where ever possible.

Evening rolls around, eat a sweet dinner and go for a walk with hubby. Turning the last corner to our house. You guessed it. I thought only old people did that.

Embarrassing. [probably another air of mystery you should keep from your partner, its fair game in love and war]

Day 6, in the morning i take the 2 pills and expect the powerful YET gentle cycle of cleansing elimination to run its course. Oh did it.

On aside, did LITERALLY pounds of colon, intestines, excrement and watermelon escape me during these 5 days?

Yes, yes it did.

As i lay in bed this afternoon with my tummy aching and trying to sip water but it punches me from the inside out every sip. ”Stop putting crap in here, dude. ITS FULL.”

So now I have to take 2 Pepto’s to curb the effect of the powerful active cleansing.

i think I’m done. I have nothing left to give.

~~

If you made it this far you get to see the other pieces of pottery i made:

the bowels, i mean, bowls, i made specifically for this lamp stand.

*gurgle*

Gotta go….

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About Kristina

52 year old Christian lady, knitter, bible collector, crafter, little business owner, thrill seeker (only when shopping at thrift stores for tremendous bargains) my animals servant, a child of God, saved, redeemed and trying to be joyful in a fallen world.

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