Monthly Archives: May 2011

Gentle Giants


This is a republish from 2009, I thought it needed to be reviewed:

In many situations, the best way to resolve a conflict is simply to overlook the personal offenses of others. This approach is highly commended throughout Scripture:

“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another
in love” (Eph. 4:2).

“Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have
against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you” (Col. 3:13; cf. Eph.

Taken from  The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 82

Food for Thought

Do people keep their distance from you unless you’re well fed and rested?

If you’ll look at the verses above, you’ll notice a common word — BEAR — bearing with one another in love and bear with each other. As peacemakers, we are called to bear with one another; however, how many times are we a bear to one another? How many days find us just like an old grizzly that has been prematurely awakened from his winter slumber — mad at the world and letting everybody know about it? How many times do we react just like that big brown bear that growls and roars when he finds someone else in his fishing hole?

You see, we can be a bear or we can bear with — and the two are entirely different approaches to people and life. If the issue is protecting your young, then be a bear and don’t back down — guard them well. Beyond that kind of a scenario, most other situations call for us to bear with…and those times can help us remember.

Bear with…

  • The person ahead of you in traffic who’s out for a leisurely Sunday drive while you’re twenty minutes late for church. And remember that it’s your heart God wants, not matching socks.
  • The neighbor who occasionally leaves a porch light shining directly on your spot in the bed. And remember that God often speaks between 2-4 a.m.
  • The pastor who preaches a “less-than” sermon once every couple of months. And remember that your church called a man, not a god.
  • The spouse who has been sick for three weeks while you’ve had to pick up the family slack. And remember that you promised “in sickness and in health.”

That other situation that God is laying on your heart right now. Remember that he is faithful.

Musings on… Mother’s Day…. A Must-Read


The most over-rated over-thought about, under-whelming totally disappointing day on the planet.

I have heard from so many mothers who have this idea in their heads how mothers days should be or how they would like it to be.

And the impending true-to-life stories of how the day was wrought with sadness, disappointment and, well, some crappy card… from their kids daddy.


It’s our fault really, we mothers have such high and mighty expectations from the little cone-headed screaming bundles of bloody flesh we spew from our ‘loins’.

We put so much into them, every day in every way, cater to their every need from the moment they latch on to the our ever-flowing life-giving milk ducts to the day they take every piece of furniture from our house to furnish their own lives and apts,  to the day our last breath comes.

We tell them when they are little that they are our world, and then teach them when they are teens that the world does not revolve around them.

We protect them from bullies, from accidents, from burning their hands on the stove to sticking their fingers in the light sockets.

We have the momma bear instinct overwhelm us from the time they get their first toy yanked away from them, to the first push at the playground, to the middle school girl teasing them for not being ‘the same’,  to people in the big bad real world discriminating against them.

We spend fortunes on cartoon band-aids to cover their cuts and bruises, on hospital visits for suspected broken arms when they think they can fly from the swing set on roller blades.

We hold them on our laps while they whimper from ear infections, we cry crocodile tears when we hear them screaming down the hall after surgery [and by the time they reach us, they are laughing with the nurse, popsicle drooling down their chin.]

Our shirts and bras have been filled with their tears  from some horrible injustice done to them that they so willingly share with us.

We buy every single animal known to mankind with all the fancy accessories because they want something to love, to have, to hold.

We endure the pain of the deaths of all those animals right along side our kids, burying, flushing, holding funerals, saving ashes.

We pray, oh Lord do we pray for them. Some of those prayers might be selfish ones, but the Lord knows our hearts for our children.

We give them every tool for life, from school supplies, the right pair of shoes, private christian schools, the fancy pair of jeans, healthy food, allowances, cars, gas money, food money, prom money, college money, money, money. so much money.

We endured the mohawk stage, the highlight stage, the long-the short hair stage, we paid for every single hair cut and color, the ‘take your hat off in church’ stage, the ‘flipping the bangs until we want to grab the scissors’ stage.

We have read every book on parenting, every book for each particular problem our kids  may have, from homosexuality to depression, from birth to toddler development, from discipline to teen angst.

We still look around frantically whenever we hear the little voice cry ‘mom’  in the grocery store.

We stay up at night, sometimes pacing, waiting for them to come home from work, school, prom and dates.

We then go to sleep peacefully knowing they are safe.

We have fought with their fathers over every type of  parenting issue.

We cry in private when we have to spank  them. We cry when they go to first grade.

We cry in private when we find out they done something horrible to another person. We cry in private when  they leave to go to college, military, over seas or just move out. We cry at graduation, at their weddings, at their funerals.

We have loved them more than life itself, we know that if it was our life or theirs, we would gladly in a split second throw ourselves in front of the impending attack.

We know that no one EVER on this entire planet loves our children more than we do and we proudly tell anyone who wants to hear it.

We love them so fiercely. We laugh when they smile at us, when they share a toy, when they put another before themselves, when they so whole-heartedly love another things and beings, when they tell us they love us, when they hug us, when they write cute little poems to us.

We save every single report card, picture, A+ tests, picture, letter, notes from teachers, cards and presents.

We love to look back at baby pictures, we loved to see them naked, we loved bath time, nap time, grandma time.

We spend many hours taking them to shows, games, school plays, movies, ice capades, etc.

We endured rain, snow, sun and other obnoxious parents at every kind of sporting event, we coached T-ball, B-ball and soccer. We spent hundreds of dollars on team pictures, shoes, socks, cleats, Dr. visits.

We want our sons and daughters to know life, love, God, happiness, the joy of their own children, the security of a job,  a house, a partner to share all these things with. We want them to be as good of a parent as we thought we were to them.. no, even better.

We also wish a bit of revenge on them with their own children.

We have sacrificed careers, love, time, money, energy for them. We love to be called ”[insert your kids name here]’s mother” .

We are at a loss when the time comes to let go of their sweet pudgy little hand and set them free into the huge scary un-safe world…. We now are called by our first names and sometimes we don’t know how to answer….

We, as mothers, probably expect a bit much from them. A card, a note, flowers, a phone call.

I don’t really know what each mother truly expects from their kids at mother’s day, but I can tell you what, each child knows what their own mother would love to receive on her special day and that’s what they should give them.

And thank them for the selfless job of raising, loving and caring for them.

Because the pay really sucks.

I love my son more than anything and right now as it stands in May 2011. I’m so glad I am in his life and I can see his face and tell him I love him.

Edit: I also love and thank my momma for her never-ending care, love and support of me throughout the years.