Ranting, Ranting, Ranting Part 3

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PArt 1 here

PArt 2 here

Original Post Here

Sorry if my rambling is boring you, I just really needed to get it off my chest and this is why God gave us blogs 😉

When I said:

But it’s not fair!

Nope it’s not fair. It’s not fair I can’t put a bottle to my lips every time I desire a speedy getaway from trouble. It’s not fair that God hasn’t taken this temptation of always wanting to drink, or if I can’t drink then its eating. It’s not fair.

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be celibate for the rest of their lives?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be fine with never being able to hold their own child against their chest?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to live with a debilitating disease for the rest of their very long life?

Nope, not fair. But I do believe the sometimes touted as cliché ‘God only gives us what we can handle’ speech.

I do believe that we can truly be content in our lot in life if it’s in God’s wonderful plan for us.

Why are any of the above things different from struggling with same-sex attraction?

Why would/should being celibate be any different from wheelchair bound?

Mind you, none of this has any effect on a person who doesn’t STRUGGLE with SSA, one who is quite comfortable with being gay and finds no harm in it, need not read this.

~~

How is it that gays are so mad at gays [esp. christian gays] who don’t want to be gay? Who don’t want to be in that lifestyle? As one set of minorities don’t want others being bigoted towards them, how can they be the same to others? Seriously, if you want to be gay, cool beans. If you don’t want to be gay, cool beans, but quit picking on each other.

If someone wants to try to be straight, let them. Quit condemning places that try to help those who don’t want to be attracted  to the same-sex.

Don’t blame the people who try to help when someone fails or even kills themselves.

Exodus doesn’t make people kill themselves. AA doesn’t make people kill themselves. Planned Parenthood doesn’t make people kill their own babies.

I get so mad at the blame game. Not that I’m exempt from it, I just hate it. This has to do mostly with Exodus Int’l that is a Christian organization that helps gay Christians who STRUGGLE with SSA. Mind you, if you are not struggling, don’t bother with them. Just as if you are not an alcoholic then don’t go to AA meetings.

But also, do not condemn those who need to go or who want to go. We all have to work out our own lives.

I get really tired of gays bashing other gays who don’t want to live like they do. I also do not like Christians who bash people who do not want to live like we/they do.

Yes, I know it’s a christians commission in life to preach the gospel but it should also be said that if the unbelieving world finds offense with it, dust off your sandals and move on out.

But that doesn’t mean hate the unbeliever. We are still called to love them, to have mercy on them. God rains on the righteous and the unrighteous and we are obligated to be merciful to all.

Westboro church is just a huge horrendous example of how christians condemn those who don’t act/think/walk/talk the same way they do. I’m offended, ashamed and hurt that the general public thinks all christians are like that.

We are not.

But we are doing a terrible job showing otherwise.

~~

How do I think I can ramble on about these things like I know what I’m talking about?

Well as i said in the original post, my son is gay. My beautiful sweet tender-hearted 18-year-old baby boy is gay. Says he is gay. He doesn’t struggle with it or seem to want to change.

He believes in God, knows its wrong, but thinks he is born that way and quite frankly doesn’t want any help from us or God. He is picking and choosing what to believe and how to live in the face of the Almighty.

As a parent, I really do not know what to do, I have read every single book published about it, pro and con. I have taken advice from others. I have cried, screamed, drank and am quite depressed about the whole thing.

But most of all I love my son. I will not forsake my relationship with my son. I don’t think I have forsaken my relationship with my God.  My son knows where I stand and knows I will not be turned aside from it.

We talked and talked about it. He knows the Word. I know the Word.

He also knows I love him, I want him saved, he knows I disapprove of this.

Hopefully someday when he is at the end of his rope, he will know he can always come back to his parents and his God, that we will be waiting for him with open arms.

My despair is in the fact that God will probably bring him to his knees. How He will bring him to his knees scares me. Regardless of how I feel, I don’t want my son to go thru what he needs to go thru. My hope is gone.

I know my God is faithful and will do what he needs to do, right now I’m really just not very happy about it.

That is all for now… I’m growing weary of talking……

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3 responses »

  1. you’ve put into words what I’ve felt about 2 of my prodical children to a T… we’ve talked and talked, they know the word, they do not want to change , and the implications for them leaves me broken…thanks for sharing your heart. DM

  2. Honey, the bringing to the knees/bringing to the cross is always the painful part. As a momma I KNOW I don’t want my kids to go there, I tell them not to go there. I tell them how to walk and how to look and finally as Shyann is moving into her own prissiness and attitude I continue to love her and when her defenses aren’t up I tell her what Jesus says about the music she’s listening too or whatever the situation might be.

    I hate to think of your baby boy at the breaking point, in the proverbial pig pen, but I cling to the fact that every person who has gotten to that point is SOMEONE’S child and most importantly they are God’s child. If it pains ME to see MY child there, how much more does it pain God? The Bible always talks about how everything God does is ‘bigger’ than man. His Love alone is unfathomable really…so I can’t imagine the sorrow and grief he feels at His sons and daughters in the pig pen.

    Let Him hold you, let Him dry your tears through this and just remember God loves your boy MORE than you do 😉

  3. People get so mad because it touches on their own guilt, whether they realize it or not. They bear the wrath they want to express to the unseen One who will hold them accountable.
    Peter points us a few times to Jesus as our model for when we suffer unjustly. He entrusted Himself to God and continued to do good. Continue to bring your needy self to Him.

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