Monthly Archives: March 2011

Jesus Weeps…..

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As much as Jesus is saddened by all the porn sites and stores, liquor stores and bars,

bath houses and cat houses, casinos, lotto games and pawn shops, high priced clothing boutiques,

planned parenthoods and homeless shelters, animal rescue groups,

meth & drug houses, jails, insane asylums, plastic surgeons and gossip columns….

He weeps over the people who have succumbed to the idols of the earth and turned away from His Light and everlasting Life.

~~

41 As he approached Jerusalem and saw the city, he wept over it 42 and said, “If you, even you, had only known on this day what would bring you peace—but now it is hidden from your eyes. 43 The days will come upon you when your enemies will build an embankment against you and encircle you and hem you in on every side. 44 They will dash you to the ground, you and the children within your walls. They will not leave one stone on another, because you did not recognize the time of God’s coming to you.” Luke 19


34 “O Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who kill the prophets and stone those sent to you, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing! 35 Look, your house is left to you desolate. I tell you, you will not see me again until you say, ‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord.’” Luke 13

34 “Be careful, or your hearts will be weighed down with dissipation, drunkenness and the anxieties of life, and that day will close on you unexpectedly like a trap. 35 For it will come upon all those who live on the face of the whole earth. 36 Be always on the watch, and pray that you may be able to escape all that is about to happen, and that you may be able to stand before the Son of Man.” Luke 21

Ranting, Ranting, Ranting Part 3

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PArt 1 here

PArt 2 here

Original Post Here

Sorry if my rambling is boring you, I just really needed to get it off my chest and this is why God gave us blogs 😉

When I said:

But it’s not fair!

Nope it’s not fair. It’s not fair I can’t put a bottle to my lips every time I desire a speedy getaway from trouble. It’s not fair that God hasn’t taken this temptation of always wanting to drink, or if I can’t drink then its eating. It’s not fair.

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be celibate for the rest of their lives?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be fine with never being able to hold their own child against their chest?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to live with a debilitating disease for the rest of their very long life?

Nope, not fair. But I do believe the sometimes touted as cliché ‘God only gives us what we can handle’ speech.

I do believe that we can truly be content in our lot in life if it’s in God’s wonderful plan for us.

Why are any of the above things different from struggling with same-sex attraction?

Why would/should being celibate be any different from wheelchair bound?

Mind you, none of this has any effect on a person who doesn’t STRUGGLE with SSA, one who is quite comfortable with being gay and finds no harm in it, need not read this.

~~

How is it that gays are so mad at gays [esp. christian gays] who don’t want to be gay? Who don’t want to be in that lifestyle? As one set of minorities don’t want others being bigoted towards them, how can they be the same to others? Seriously, if you want to be gay, cool beans. If you don’t want to be gay, cool beans, but quit picking on each other.

If someone wants to try to be straight, let them. Quit condemning places that try to help those who don’t want to be attracted  to the same-sex.

Don’t blame the people who try to help when someone fails or even kills themselves.

Exodus doesn’t make people kill themselves. AA doesn’t make people kill themselves. Planned Parenthood doesn’t make people kill their own babies.

I get so mad at the blame game. Not that I’m exempt from it, I just hate it. This has to do mostly with Exodus Int’l that is a Christian organization that helps gay Christians who STRUGGLE with SSA. Mind you, if you are not struggling, don’t bother with them. Just as if you are not an alcoholic then don’t go to AA meetings.

But also, do not condemn those who need to go or who want to go. We all have to work out our own lives.

I get really tired of gays bashing other gays who don’t want to live like they do. I also do not like Christians who bash people who do not want to live like we/they do.

Yes, I know it’s a christians commission in life to preach the gospel but it should also be said that if the unbelieving world finds offense with it, dust off your sandals and move on out.

But that doesn’t mean hate the unbeliever. We are still called to love them, to have mercy on them. God rains on the righteous and the unrighteous and we are obligated to be merciful to all.

Westboro church is just a huge horrendous example of how christians condemn those who don’t act/think/walk/talk the same way they do. I’m offended, ashamed and hurt that the general public thinks all christians are like that.

We are not.

But we are doing a terrible job showing otherwise.

~~

How do I think I can ramble on about these things like I know what I’m talking about?

Well as i said in the original post, my son is gay. My beautiful sweet tender-hearted 18-year-old baby boy is gay. Says he is gay. He doesn’t struggle with it or seem to want to change.

He believes in God, knows its wrong, but thinks he is born that way and quite frankly doesn’t want any help from us or God. He is picking and choosing what to believe and how to live in the face of the Almighty.

As a parent, I really do not know what to do, I have read every single book published about it, pro and con. I have taken advice from others. I have cried, screamed, drank and am quite depressed about the whole thing.

But most of all I love my son. I will not forsake my relationship with my son. I don’t think I have forsaken my relationship with my God.  My son knows where I stand and knows I will not be turned aside from it.

We talked and talked about it. He knows the Word. I know the Word.

He also knows I love him, I want him saved, he knows I disapprove of this.

Hopefully someday when he is at the end of his rope, he will know he can always come back to his parents and his God, that we will be waiting for him with open arms.

My despair is in the fact that God will probably bring him to his knees. How He will bring him to his knees scares me. Regardless of how I feel, I don’t want my son to go thru what he needs to go thru. My hope is gone.

I know my God is faithful and will do what he needs to do, right now I’m really just not very happy about it.

That is all for now… I’m growing weary of talking……

Part 2 of the Ranting Post

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part one is here

original post is here

so, when I said:

Please take my ‘rantings/reviews’ with the underlying knowledge that I deem homosexuality a sin, just like addiction, fornication, adultery, drunkenness and everything else the bible and God deems a sin. One is not more hideous than another and I personally have no idea who is going to heaven.

How is it that addiction can be called a disease but roaming the streets in the middle of the night for a fix of quick anonymous gay or straight sex isn’t?!?!?!

I don’t quite know how to say it any better. I believe homosexuality is a sin. Just like the rest of ’em. I’m sorry God has given one the desire for the same-sex. I’m sorry God has given me the desire to drink. I’m sad God has given my brother the desire to cheat on his wife.

Did God make any of these people do the thing they desire. How is desiring affection/love/sex of the same-sex different from desiring another woman while still married to your wife? How is desiring gay porn different from straight porn?

Men, in particular will probably always struggle with lust, I believe its in their DNA. But men can curb that temptation.

Has anyone ever heard a straight guy whine that he can’t have all the women he wants? Have you heard him say ‘Why can’t I have sex?’ It’s my right to have sex anytime I want, with who I want.’ [*cough* mormons *cough*] Heard them say, God made me like this so He must want me to have sex before marriage.’

The list goes on and on. The things gays say about God and sex can be heard from straight people, but I don’t think I’ve heard many say it out loud.

~~

Addiction and disease. It’s been touted in the medical community that addiction is a disease. I hear many people picking that up and running with it, like they have no control over what they have done or become.

I, personally, don’t think its a disease. Addiction is poor way to cope with life.

Pure and simple.

We, for some reason or another, aren’t getting what we want, life is not how we planned it or we did not grow up learning the right coping skills and we turn to something to ‘fix’ it, to give us the escape, to give us the high we feel we deserve.

Instead of dong the hard thing and dealing with the disappointment, the reality, the powerlessness we feel about life, we develop an addiction.

Homosexuality- desires the same-sex because something is lacking in one’s life having to do with the same-sex.

One willing to do the hard work of coming to terms with the underlying problem can recover from their addiction.

Just as one who thought their life would be one way, took to drinking to avoid the pain of their own misconception of how their life should be.

Oh poor pitiful me.

Oh, by the way, that was describing me in the above sentence.

Id like to say, I do feel sorry for people who are addicts. It’s tough getting out from under it. It takes a hell of a lot of hard work to find out the underlying cause of the addiction, for the addiction is just the symptom of the real problem.

God has given us this ‘gift’ of addiction to help others. We come to the end of ourselves, we turn to Him, we surrender our lives to His Son, we get help, we in turn are so grateful for the grace and mercy  and even triumph God has given  over our addiction that we now can use it to help others.

What are the 2 greatest commandments?

34 Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. 35 One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: 36 “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?”

37 Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ 38This is the first and greatest commandment. 39 And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ 40 All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” Matthew 22

Now don’t you think we loved our neighbor as ourself, we would not want them under addictions thumb?

Don’t you think if we knew someone was dealing with some harsh things in life, we would reach out with empathy and strive to help them?

One would think so, One would think Christians should be falling all over each other to help the poor, the needy, the downtrodden. These things are not written about in the Bible to ignore. They were important to our Lord.

Part 3 here

About That Ranting on the Last Post…..

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On my Musings on Pray the Gay Away, I got a little rambling and ranting, and received an e-mail wanting some clarification on some things, so maybe I will go back thru and try to talk like a human.

I almost deleted the post, but instead I elaborate….

I started out the post as being an anti-gay post or something of a stating what I believe about christianity and being gay, but so many things flooded my mind as I was writing…

“it’s not His [Gods] plan for me” [about being gay]

I hear tons of people repeating this phrase. People, meaning the ones who are gay and do not want to be, usually Christians.  But really, how do they know its not God plan for their life?

If you are of the belief that homosexuality is a sin and that God is in control of everything, then maybe God gave you this ‘sin’, ‘temptation’, ‘struggle’ to make you come to Him.

[Yes, tis not Gods plan for you to sit in sin, to be addicted to anything, to make idols of things on earth, but when someone in those situations, cry out to Him and then witness to the world, He is glorified….isn’t that His plan?]


Q. 1. What is the chief end of man?
A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever.

Q. 2. What rule hath God given to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy him?
A. The Word of God, which is contained in the Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments, is the only rule to direct us how we may glorify and enjoy him.

Or if you are of the belief that one is born gay, then maybe God gave you this just like He gives someone a deformity or a mental disability to somehow glorify Him.

I’m just not quite sure that phrase is biblical or even biblical based or even how we can say this when we really don’t know what God’s plan  is for us or our loved ones.

~~

Then I went to say:

Look around, if you attend a church with neatly dressed, highly respected, nicely driven people, you are not in His church.

If you are in a church with broken, destitute, handicapped, divorced perhaps even ugly people, you have found your home.

I find it hard to believe all these beautiful well dressed fashion forward hipster preacher types are all that they are cracked up to be.  This is generalizing, I know, but think about it, and look around you, in your work place, school, etc., the beautiful well put together acting-all-perfect people don’t think they need God or His rules.

Broken people know they need a Savior and most have found Him and His children. The well-said quote from someone who said the church is like a hospital for the broken is right… or should be right.

A church is a hospital for sinners, not a museum for saints.
Abigail Van Buren

When I said:

I am wondering how people can think it is their ‘God given’ right to have sex. How is it we earn sex/love from the Holy One?

How is it that when the word love get thrown into the mix people get all crazy about sin?

We love our sins, don’t we? we get all cuddled up with them, nice and tight and breathe life in them.

If we believe homosexuality is a sin, and even adultery and fornication, then we shouldn’t get all crazy on the notion that ‘it’s all about who you love’, ‘it’s a feeling’, ‘it’s my body, I can do with it what I want’, ‘God wants me to be happy’, God gave us sex, so why not do it?’

It’s not a God given right to have sex. Only within the guidelines of marriage is sex permitted. Anything, and I mean anything sexual outside of marriage is sin. Shall I go on and tell you how many people I had sex with before I was married? Before I became a Christian? No, I won;t, but believe it was alot.

Ashamed? Yes. Disappointed in myself? Yes. Disgusted, even? YES.

They say, ‘If it’s my body i can do what i want with who i want, it is not hurting anyone.’ Um, hello?!?!?! It’s hurting God. And its hurting the potential marriage partner of your partner.  This isn’t even adding in all the diseases one can catch messing around.

It just seems like sexual is on one end, hidden by many [like the christian community] and brazenly demanded of the secular community.

Part 2….

Musings on…. Pray the Gay Away….

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03/11/2011

Just got done watching Our America with Lisa Ling, the long-awaited much debated episode Pray the Gay Away?

It was good. Both sides were portrayed and it was fair to both sides.

Even tho Lisa Ling has many gay friends, she seems interested in being non-biased [at least on camera] and genuinely intrigued by her interviewees.

Here is the link to the full episode.

Here is another link to the Gayle King show with Lisa and commentors …I did not watch that, I’m afraid. Got about 5 minutes into it and got irritated with Gayle.

One thing that stood out to me was people using a common catchphrase…..

“it’s not His [Gods] plan for me” [about being gay]

But what exactly do they think the plan that God has for them?

Maybe it is the plan, to show His glory by being a testament to how they respond to getting the gift of being gay.

Everyone automatically assumes that God has this marvelous life for them which includes wife/hubby, kids, nice job, house, dog, car, etc.

That they deserve to have this wonderful life because somehow they read it in the bible where God states that very thing.

No, He does not. Most of the time He states quite the opposite, we will have trials, we will lose family and things, we may even lose what takes our focus off Him.

We may lose our cars, our house, our children, our legs or our sight.

BUT if we lose any or all of those things, our focus should still be on God and be grateful for the remnant He has left us.

Job is no isolated case, people.

Look around, if you attend a church with neatly dressed, highly respected, nicely driven people, you are not in His church.

If you are in a church with broken, destitute, handicapped, divorced perhaps even ugly people, you have found your home.

OK, back on track, I came up with more questions than answers:

I am wondering how people can think it is their ‘God given’ right to have sex. How is it we earn sex/love from the Holy One?

How is it that Westboro is not picketing an alcoholics funeral or a drug addicts funeral? or even a porn stars funeral?

How is it that when the word love get thrown into the mix people get all crazy about sin?

Please take my ‘rantings/reviews’ with the underlying knowledge that I deem homosexuality a sin, just like addiction, fornication, adultery, drunkenness and everything else the bible and God deems a sin. One is not more hideous than another and I personally have no idea who is going to heaven.

How is it that addiction can be called a disease but roaming the streets in the middle of the night for a fix of quick anonymous gay or straight sex isn’t?!?!?!

How is it that people want so bad to find a gay gene or even an addiction gene? To maybe put the blame on something else besides our own selves?

Side-note: I blamed everyone else for my alcohol ‘disease’. Oh poor pitiful me whined about how hard my life was and how my hubby made me miserable and oh, it makes me sick to think about it. No one caused me to drink, no one caused me to deal with my problems by drinking. [and to add to that, no one made me sleep with dozens of men or kill 4 of my babies]

It comes [almost] right down to that. People have problems, people do not know how to deal with said problems, so people escape their problems with…oh let’s say… drugs, drink, sex with men or women, anything to give that high and feeling of  I don’t give a s**t about any problems right now!

How is resisting sex any different from resisting drink, cigs, or drugs? Because God made you desire it?

Don’t get me wrong, God likes sex, He mandates, He instituted it, He likes it… between man and woman in the sanctity of marriage.

How do I  know? For the bible tells me so. [bet you can’t read that last sentence without a sing-song voice :) ]

Is it because same-sex attractions come from the inside, because it’s  a feeling, because it’s not a substance you can hold  in your hand, like a drug?

Back to the God-given right to have sex. If you are one who  believes that God wants us to have and enjoy sex in the sanctity of marriage between man and woman, where does that leave the rest of us?

That would mean gay or straight, you are to resist the temptation to have sex until marriage.

Why are the gays so upset that they might never get to have sex or be in a loving relationship?

Where is the 20 something Christian kid who is trying so damn hard right now, in college, to stay a virgin until he is married, because he wants to honor his God and his future wife?

In the same boat, my friend.

But it’s not fair!

Nope it’s not fair. It’s not fair I can’t put a bottle to my lips every time I desire a speedy getaway from trouble. It’s not fair that God hasn’t taken this temptation of always wanting to drink, or if I can’t drink then its eating. It’s not fair.

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be celibate for the rest of their lives?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to be fine with never being able to hold their own child against their chest?

Is it fair that God might ask someone to live with a debilitating disease for the rest of their very long life?

Nope, not fair. But I do believe the sometimes touted as cliché ‘God only gives us what we can handle’ speech.

I do believe that we can truly be content in our lot in life if it’s in God’s wonderful plan for us.

Attitude, humility and where our focus is … is key.

How is it that gays are so mad at gays [esp. christian gays] who don’t want to be gay? Who don’t want to be in that lifestyle? As one set of minorities don’t want others being bigoted towards them, how can they be the same to others? Seriously, if you want to be gay, cool beans. If you don’t want to be gay, cool beans, but quit picking on each other.

If someone wants to try to be straight, let them. Quit condemning places that try to help those who don’t want to be attracted  to the same-sex.

Don’t blame the people who try to help when someone fails or even kills themselves.

Exodus doesn’t make people kill themselves. AA doesn’t make people kill themselves. Planned Parenthood doesn’t make people kill their own babies.

Reel it back in again, Girl!

Ok, at about 5 minutes into the show Alan Chambers from Exodus says ” I choose to live my life through the filter of Christianity instead of the filter of my sexuality”.

Ok, I love that. But why can’t he have both? I don’t know, ask him. He actually is living life with sexuality… with a woman. Does he still have temptations? Yep. Did God so graciously get those unwanted temptations away? Nope.

Since I don’t believe same-sex attraction is inborn or genetically tied or whatever the PC verbiage is, I can’t debate well with someone who does.

That is the problem with ‘christians and gays’ getting along. We are not standing on the same foundation, we use the same words differently, we talk around each other or just hate each other.

In any and all Christian communities there should be help/support/counseling groups for every type of ‘sin’. For addiction, for post-abortion trauma, domestic violence, for porn/sex addicts, for eating disorders, financial classes. Christians should be ready and able to help people where they are at… Lost, broken, tired, hungry, spent people.

Christians should be there to take them as they as, to show them Godly love, Christs love, bring into the church… to love them and guide them.

We, Christians, do a horrible job at loving our neighbor, we do an even worse job at loving our own…choosing to turn our backs on those whose sins are ‘the unspeakable ones’, yet running home to cuddle our sins in private.

In closing I would like to say I loved the show and recommend you watch it, no matter where you stand on the issue of same-sex attraction.

Also, I would like to say, if you haven’t read this blog before, I am a mother of a son who, at the age of 15, decided to tell us he was gay.

I am a woman whose life has been shattered at the core of her very existence, a Christian who still very much believes in the promises and the words of God and His son The Lord Christ Jesus, a wife whose marriage is being even more tested in this season of life, a mother who worries for the future of her 18-year-old son in this huge world.

I am a woman who knows God will do as He sees fit. I know what he lets my son go through will be for our sons good and Gods greater good. I know as much as I love my son, my God loves him so much more and sees so much more. I know my life, my husband’s life and my son’s life are going to be far different from what we ever realized. And I know I’m not ready for this ride.