Daily Archives: October 10, 2009

Musings on … Tweak


Tweak: Growing Up on Methamphetamines

This Book is by Nic Sheff, the son of the David Sheff, the Author of Beautiful Boy.

Great book, read it in a day, most while  waiting for doctors and prescriptions to get to me.

From Nic’s website:

Nic Sheff is a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. Still in his early twenties, he continues to fight daily battles with his addictions. His writing has been published in Newsweek, Nerve, and the San Francisco Chronicle. Tweak is his first book.

Nic Sheff was drunk for the first time at age eleven. In the years that followed, he would regularly smoke pot, do cocaine and Ecstasy, and develop addictions to crystal meth and heroin. Even so, he felt like he would always be able to quit and put his life together whenever he needed to. It took a violent relapse one summer in California to convince him otherwise. In a voice that is raw and honest, Nic spares no detail in telling us the compelling, heartbreaking, and true story of his relapse and the road to recovery. As we watch Nic plunge the mental and physical depths of drug addiction, he paints a picture for us of a person at odds with his past, with his family, with his substances, and with himself. It’s a harrowing portrait — but not one without hope.


I loved the book, so gut wrenching, so sad, struggling.

I think I relate better to his dad’s book [the parent’s perspective] but I can also relate to Nic’s struggle with addiction. I was addicted to alcohol. While I’m sure some people would not even put my addiction to drink on the same level as hardcore drugs. Its’ the same. The same gnawing feeling, every single day, for your favorite drug of choice, changing your whole life, every single bit of it, to meet your bodies needs/wants/desires. Doing things you never would have dreamed doing…sober. Just to feel the high again. To feel safe/happy/calm/warm/accepted/content.

But never achieving the high you once got and so long for again.

I feel incredible sad for people who are addicts. Theirs lives are changed permanently. Their reality is different and they can never go back.

Addicts are always on guard, always thinking, always wondering, always second guessing themselves. Never feeling up to par. Never wanting to feel pain, sorrow, never wanting to feel anything really.Because reality is too hard. Just too damn hard.

Something in our mind makes us different: a childhood experience, the way we handle experiences, the actual growing up process stopped at the age of drug usage. The lack of skills to mature, fight the drug, the urges, the depression.

Well, I’m going off on a tangent, feeling a little melancholy cuz of my sinus infection.

But good book, read it.

Oh, and not to put God on my P.S. list, but really, I do not know how people get off drugs without Him. The Lord is the one who got me out of the hole of addiction and depression.

He gives us a way out of it, a new life, a new outlook and a new eternity. To God be the Glory!!!