Hard to Say You’re Sorry?



Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation
and leaves no regret… 
2 Corinthians 7:10

If you want someone to respond positively to a confession, make it a point to acknowledge and express sorrow for how you have hurt or afflicted them. Your goal is to show that you understand how the other person felt as a result of your words or actions. Here are a few examples of how this can be done:

“You must have been terribly embarrassed when I said those things in front of everyone. I’m very sorry I did that to you.”

“I can see why you were frustrated when I didn’t deliver the parts on time. I’m sorry I failed to keep my commitment to you.”   

Adapted from  The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 130.

Food for Thought

How easily do you say, “I’m sorry”?

There was a pop song back in the 80’s that got a lot of radio play; the title was Hard for Me to Say I’m Sorry. The lyrics accurately named the tension of “I really want to say it, but it’s really hard for me to do it.” Does that tension feel familiar? Yeah, me too.

My, how quickly we forget. We forget how incredibly powerful those two little words are — “I’m sorry.” They can defuse a tense situation in a heartbeat. When we honestly express sorrow for what we’ve done, we’re taking the initiative to level things. Rather than looking down our nose at someone, we look him square in the eyes. And it is there, on that face-to-face level, where words like “confession” and “forgiveness” really mean something.

A life lived without regret is a tall order. But being able to say, “I’m sorry” — as hard as it is — is a step in the right direction. So move beyond just wanting to say you are sorry and actually do it.


I have a hard time saying I’m sorry and probably even a harder time realizing I need to say I’m sorry.

My hubby has a hard time, too. Someday we will have world peace when everyone can just  say “I’m sorry”.


2 responses »

  1. I see it as a spiritual muscle. it is hard but it gets easier the more you practice. pure and simple it’s pride when we choke on those words. and we both know what God says in James about pride and God’s response. I would go so far as to say, if you would start embracing those opportunities to own up and say you’re sorry you would see amazing things happen in your life. when I say I’m sorry- doesn’t mean I don’t see stuff in the wife’s life too..but that’snot the point, I’m only responsible for my 5%..(when she is 95% wrong) You’re a spunky woman..I know you can do it! I’ll start praying God blesses your efforts to say you’re sorry..just the fact you wrote about this tells me, deep down inside where the fire burns you know what to do 🙂 your friend DM

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