On a Personal Note…..


1. My friend bought me this button

Hehe, I love it.

2. I average about 150 hits a day on this site, I’m often thinking, why do I do this? Does the number really matter? Who and am I doing this for? Why? It started out as having an outlet for my random intense brain-strangling thoughts about my life and bible studies and family.

And it still is, but I get lured by the world or what the world thinks. I justify by saying I want to get Gods Word out or glorify God. But really, its for me. To get all the thoughts out of my brain and down in a some what organized manner. So it will not explode.

Someday I would like to get this blog printed out in book form for my son. He doesn’t seem interested right now, but if I died, He might then. 😉

3. I mentioned awhile back there were some family struggles going on here and we are in a transitional period, meaning we are waiting on some outside circumstances to happen. Sort of like waiting on Gods timing, well, exactly like waiting on Gods timing. The waiting and anticipating is exhausting and irritating. We are being worn pretty thin, tempers flare, anxiety breeds depression and anger. We are finding it hard to wait on Gods time. When we, in particular, me, are forced to wait on things that are not in our/my control, it is maddening. But God knows and is working on me to accept His time and His providence for my/our lives.

4. In dealing with this family struggle, I have backslid a bit. I have went to the comfort of alcohol (and Tylenol PM) to tame my agitation and anxiety. My foul mouth appears more frequently and anger plays a major role in my life. Food is also a comfort, a temporary comfort. I so dislike trials and suffering (righteous and unrighteous suffering) but I know in my heart I must go through the refining. How else am I made in His likeness?

 I’m looking forward to the end of it, to feeling like my faith is strengthened, (knowing, hopefully,  that I reacted to all this in a godly way that showed His love). Like it is all worth the while to know I’m closer to Christ. I’m not sure if that’s wrong thinking….

5. My hubby seems to think I would be good for this job, so I am contemplating applying for it. I e-mailed for more info. This is my sons school, so I could keep an eye on him without too much of embarrassment to his young self.

Athletic Director’s Secretary
Description: The Tacoma Baptist Campus of South Sound Christian Schools is looking for a qualified person to assist our Athletic Director. The position begins August 18, 2008 and continues through the end of June, 2009.

Minimum Requirements:Must be a born again Christian who supports the doctrines and philosophy of South Sound Christian Schools. Must be able to perform general office duties and be knowledgeable in the use of Word, Excel, Outlook and data base computer applications. Must be able to multi-task. Employee must possess strong interpersonal relationship and people skills. Sports knowledge is a plus.

Salary: This is an hourly part-time position.

I don’t want this job. I don’t want a job. period. But since I complained about wanting a job a few months back, He is pushing me to apply for it. Now, as a wife who is supposed to be submissive to the her hubby, do I have to do what he says and apply for this job?

6. Summer time is stressful for me. This actually is hard for me to admit and I get so many negative reactions to it when I tell people.

Yes, I know I only have one kid. Yes, I know he is self-sufficient and 15 years old. Yes, I know I don’t have a job to worry about or child care. Yes, I know it’s a pride issue.

Its the change of my schedule that does it, I’m selfish for my quiet time. Now its gone during the summer. Its because I only have one child, he has no one to hang out with, when he was little, I was his buddy, his best friend (sad, but true) he never wanted to go to camp or summer programs, still doesn’t.

We manage but the anxiety, or should I say the needless worry I have overshadows the positive.

This summer adds another facet, teaching the boy to drive. Man-o-man. Pray for me!!! 🙂

 7. I received an e-mail from someone indicating they see evidence in me of Gods grace and I have made an impact in their life, that even when I struggle I evidence His reality.

My response to the e-mail:

Most times our own evidences of grace are not seen clearly. The lens of our own eye is clouded with past sins and doubts of ever being sanctified. Its always so weird to hear others say I’ve changed. Altho I know in general I’m different. I still struggle with the little every day sins, the ones that always just pop out of the mouth or slap me in the face. Sometimes I wish God would bring more compliments into my life, but then if He did, I would become proud, more proud. So, like Mary, I cherish the comments in my heart and savor them when I’m extremely in need of encouragement.

8. I have received 2 comments concerning veganism/vegtarianism. One person sent me this site

Christian Vegetarian Association FAQ page. I skimmed it and came to the conclusion that the scriptures references do not give a clear indication that God and Jesus want us to be vegetarians or meatless eaters. My comment back to this person as follows:

~~thanks for the info. i don’t read in the bible where we are supposed to be vegetarians or vegans. And we, humans, are the only creatures created in Gods image, therefore considered ’special, ‘loved’, ‘protected’. In the New test. we are told any animals are clean to eat.
I have no problem with the eating of meat, but the way people kill animals, and the over killing of animals and the improper handling of all things animal is wrong.
We are NOT to satisfy our gluttonous sinful self with cosmetics and detergents (tested on animals and animal products used in), furs and animal oriented entertainment or the overkilling of animals and the huge amount of waste of food in general in this country.
We are to take care of our bodies because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit, we are to take care of our bodies to be healthy enough to do what God and Jesus commands us to do, take care of widows and orphans and go preach the good news to the ends of the earth. If we are sick and fat and lazy and only concerned with what goes into our faces, then we can NOT do what Jesus tells us. I appreciate the website link and will look more into it but from what I read just from the FAQ page, its not a convincing argument for me to say, “Yes, God says we should NOT eat meat” Blessings, Kristina

The other one is from a good friend who says he just doesn’t get it and finds it a hardship dealing with his lactose intolerant kids, my comment back:

~~yeah, you missed a post or two.
here is what started it
i refuse to eat anything that cries out in pain. sorry.
Actually its not that bad, true i must eat lots of soy and veggies, but with some practice i can get it to taste good. (soy sauce is amazing) you can substitute cocoa powder for most of the choc baked things and as you can see from all the pics (check the flickr site) there is some good stuff out there. I’ve tried so many different things and realized they are tasty. mind you, some of the stuff is just ok and most of it can be bland, but there is so many options and we are saving money not buying so much meat. I’m not yet totally vegan, I still like cheese and sour cream. Soy cheese is the worst. (
vegan is a lifestyle not just an eating style. I am slowing getting rid of animal products in all my life and products tested on animals and with animal products in them.
If you watch the video you will see what i mean.
One must eat to live not live to eat, my friend.
i just got back some lab results and i’m the healthiest I ve ever been, im also overweight, i have a registered dietitian setting up an eating plan for me.
Im also trying to be healthy to stave (spelling?) off some of the genetic problems the women in my family have. i want to be able to grow old gracefullyand useful to the Kingdom.
hope that helps. Kristina

I am finding this extremely weird that others would be so down on me for eating in this manner. Why is it so hard to comprehend? Because they don’t eat like me? Because I’m ‘saying something’ (by taking a stand) to them about themselves? Obviously these 2 people above aren’t ‘down’ on me, but others have been. I’ve even been told I need to be talked to….hmmm, I wonder what that’s about? 😉

Anyway, thats my life lately. Prayers are appreciated and coveted.

Blessings, Kristina


7 responses »

  1. Hey chica, I will pray extra for you. Hang in there.

    I am just trying to envision there being an AD secretary likeyou when I was in school. That would have been wild! (In a good way.) But we didn’t have blogs back then–the staff and faculty had more privacy. 😉 We barely had email! Hey, it’d give you more opportunity to be around Jess & his homies, and you’d still have the same schedule as him. Heck, you’d even save gas from being the neighborhood bus lady, eh?
    ~~yeah, but it doesn’t really float my boat, ya know. i think i would have to attend the games and i’m not up for that. Im not neighborhood lady anymore, all the other kids are gone 😦

  2. what is the sound that your mouth makes when your finger repeatedly goes up and down over it horizontally and you say “bbbbbbbb”?

    I love you. You have inspired me to cook beans tonight. You are changing the world one wacko at a time!

    Do not grow weary at doing good

    I say, good job for standing firm. You are right. It’s not about the meat. It’s about the way these animals are being killed. Even I (as calloused as I am toward animals) was shocked and appalled. I am looking at meat differently now. Like the movie said, “If everyone had to kill their own meat, we’d all be vegetarians”

    Whoever thinks you need a talking to needs to watch the movie. Then see how much they have to say.
    ~~Im so proud of you 🙂 i love youuu! (I’ll tell you later who said that, shhh) and i’m sure he won’t watch the movie

  3. I’m glad you voiced you’re in need of some additonal prayer/ encouragement right now. Speaking just from my own experience, it has made a world of difference when I”ve done that and even just one person picks up on it…do you have a copy of the Message? I’ve been reading portions of Job from it and the inner anguish he expresses in that version make him someone I can relate to in a new way (and I’m guessing you might too)…
    ~~why, my friend, you convicted me by writing about me! i do have a copy of the message, as every other version of the bible 😉 I’m glad I’m doing 1 and 2 Peter again for my summer study because I’ve had lots of opportunity to quote from it and learn from trials and suffering. Thanks for the comments!

  4. Kristina I will keep you in my prayers…I too have been struggling a lot lately, you may have noticed my lack of posts…I just haven’t had anything to really talk about.

    As far as the food issue, to each his or her own. I like meat, not much will get me to stop eating it, not even a video showing how poorly they are treated…it’s sad and it should be changed but I won’t change my eating habits AND before anyone says anything about it I HAVE killed my own. So yeah I know…but it’s yumminess 😉 not as good as chocolate but almost….

    HOWEVER, if you are moved to be a vegan I will be the one to help you find new recipes to try. I am sooooo not against people wanting to make changes AND it annoys me to no end when people have strong convictions and someone tells them they are wrong.

    On the other hand we have a kid/guy staying with us who claims to be a vegetarian…however, he loves my lasagna, so I tell him I’ll make it veggie for him…he replies that I don’t need to do that he loves it just the way it is. Mkay…so I make it the normal way…well, long story short, I have figured out he claims to be a veggie when whatever I’ve cooked doesn’t appeal to him in some way shape or form. Last night I called him on the carpet about it…he won’t eat pork at all, won’t even sit at the table when we have it. So he’s eating pizza and I watch him roll up a couple slices of pepperoni and eat them and then take a bite out of pizza and i look at him and go, “You know pepperoni has pork in it don’t you?” Yeah…it was amusing…
    ~~oh, kids, they can be persuasive can’t they? whip up some tofu for him then see how he reacts 🙂
    I told my hubby, it should be like it was back in the day, everyone kills their own food and uses everything, no waste. Take only what you can eat. that sort of thing. And have your garden.
    One thing i was not aware of and totally bummed out about, chocolate without animal product sucks.
    Carrie, you sound busy and im proud of you for going back to school!! so prayers are sent hencefore to you! Thanks for the comments!~!~

  5. Here is a latest post from my friend Pat who is battling stage 4 cancer in the lungs and brain for those of you reading my sweeties comment section. I took it to heart this week and enjoy our simple life. My God, my family and those who surround our lives. Although we may have been socked in the nose, with patience and faith this too will pass. I love you Heffa,,,the simple truth. God will bless us and we honor Him in the way we handle trials and we will praise him for he knows what is best. Love you XXX000. J
    ~~thanks heffa, you know what im going thru, you are right there with me, yes, i would marry you again! if only just to torture you for life 😉

    Good Sunday Morning Everyone,

    Sunday morning reflections from Pat

    The sun hasn’t lit the sky this morning which informs me that our clocks are off or we have a cloudy day ahead of us. I believe it’s the latter. Not to worry. This is going to be a fantastic day.

    Back in high school I came across the saying that has stuck with me the rest of my adult life and quite honestly I haven’t been able to shake the concept. The saying goes …

    “Simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

    With the past week that I’ve had up and down physically, it’s easy to get caught up in a routine that becomes stagnate and unproductive. It drives me nuts to sit around and wait for moments where I feel better in order to sense that I’m making strides towards progress. The inactivity of it all is uncomfortable for me. The insomnia at night concerns me as I put myself on another schedule from all those around me. The lack of eating right because my appetite and taste has left me is constant on my mind because my goals are to put on some weight each week. I could go on and on but the point I’m trying to make is that I find that it is up to me to change my perspective and outlook in order to right all the crap I feel.
    This is where I draw on the basic guideline that “simplicity is the ultimate sophistication.”

    Inactivity is not a bad thing. Shutting down, as difficult as it is for me, is what my body is craving. Running it into the ground is not. Attempting to be productive the majority of the time when not feeling well is unrealistic. So lighten up on yourself. When I can’t sleep at night, I now try and lie still, pray, and think how much great rest I’m accomplishing wakefully. Eating for the sake of eating has not worked out in my best interest so I snack all day and put away as much as I can in the process.

    I have learned through this healing process that I (we) make issues more difficult than we need to. Life was meant to be simple. God’s plan started with the Garden of Eden. How great was that? We tend to complicate our lives to the point that we compound issues for ourselves. What should we do? … Stop. Slow Down. and Reflect.

    I guess that is what you’re hearing my voice say this morning through my fingers. It may not make sense to you but it is an act I felt I needed to let out so that I may get back to becoming simple again. To keep it simple is to find that peace that gives me strength.

    Bern and I have a art piece in our bathroom that was one of the very first items we ever bought as a couple, and it reads:



    RL Stine

    May your day be simple and fruitful. May your socks be in your clean laundry hamper,and you become as sophisticated as you want to be today. It’s OK to be still and quite in order that we may arise refreshed, renewed, and full of life.

    Love to all


  6. Some people really look down on people who are vegan. I’ve experienced it, too. 😦

    I personally believe it’s an issue of what the Lutheran’s call “adiophora.” It’s neither commanded or forbidden. I believe it’s an area of Christian freedom. I am convicted to be vegan, but I respect that most others aren’t. I admit that I do wish that more people would look into the issues, though, and I can’t understand people who don’t feel saddened by it all when they do. 😦

    I remember when I used to always look at how many hits my personal webpage got a day; it’s pretty exciting. 150 hits is good! Whatever the case, I believe that God is working through you. You are reaching people for Christ, and I believe He will bless you for it.

    Big Hugs to you! I admire you so much for your openness and transparency. I praise God for being such a gracious and forgiving and loving God. ❤ Love and Prayers, Jeri ❤
    ~~wow, i need to look into that adiophora thing, sounds interesting. thanks for the sweet comments, God is good, isn’t He?

  7. I made your blog!

    My comments were more trying to understand the change in the Kristina I knew (at least a little) to the one I read about now. I think your response to me and the other writer were helpful in helping me understand your logic. I certainly wasn’t trying to come down on you; I just didn’t understand where you were coming from.

    This post helped (not that it is a requirement for me to understand some one else’s’ life). You know I spent most of my life as a farm boy and my wife also grew up in that vein so the concept seems very foreign to me. I was trying to figure out how this seemed to be such big deal to you suddenly and I couldn’t find the original posts.

    I could probably go mostly vegetarian it I wanted. Meat is great but not essential. I would have a really hard time giving up egg, butter, cheese and milk. I agree with you that it is an area open to Christian freedom. I appreciated all the verses you quoted although I would probably cite some others for my side of the “argument”.

    God Bless,
    ~~no worries, Tim, I know you weren’t trying to be negative. I remembered later after reading your comment that you are a farmboy. Are you talking about the verses on the link to the christian vegetarian site or on my other post with the video? (i think you must be referring to the ones on my post)
    did you watch the video?
    I always just think everyone puts me on their RSS and has nothing better to do than to read every single one of my posts. silly me, proud silly me. 😉 so i just figured you knew about the post way back in Nov 2007.
    If you have the time and inclination to find the other verses, let me know. You know, i want to be fully aware of all the bible says about it. check out the link to the veggie christian site, the page shows all the verses they found FOR being a veggie, but i think some of them were taken out of context.

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