Lately ~ Conviction, Depression and Realization


Lately I have been convinced of many things,  some of them are:

1. Not keeping my mouth shut, not biting my tongue, the proverbial foot in mouth syndrome

       and riding on that…

2. Not letting my husband be a leader

3. Not wanting the boy to grow up, not trusting in his judgment or Gods for his life

4. Not being content with where I am in life

      and with that….

3. Not letting God be my comfort, my joy, my “air traffic controller”

It’s all about CONTROL

I got serious control issues, I want to be in control, I think I’m in control. I think I’m better at being in control than my hubby and my God.

As you read this, you are probably thinking, “Duh? Who is better in being in control than God, why would she be so stupid as to think she controls everything?”

Other things I’m realizing:

Sins effects are more wide spreading than we (I) care to even acknowledge….

          …But I have to acknowledge

Relations between christians and non-christians are an ever-widening gulf

People always disappoint me…

        …But that is my fault

I disappoint many more people than I care to think about….

        …I’m sorry


 Dear Father, head of our one enduring spiritual family,

Thank you that you have not left us uninformed in matters of
family relations. Thank you for the apostle Paul’s instructions,
which tell us to be holy in body and spirit and to give ourselves
up to please you. Help me, Father, to do that.

May we be content in the situations in which you have placed us.
May those of us with spouses live, in a sense, as if we had none.
May those of us who mourn over lost loved ones, in a sense, not
mourn at all. May those of us who rejoice, in a sense, not be so
joyful. May those of us who buy and sell, in a sense, act as if we
have no goods. May those of us who deal with the world, in a sense,
act as if we have no dealings with the world at all.

What does it all mean? This world and the form of it are passing
away, so free me from all anxiety! There is no answer apart from
knowing that you are in control and will bring to pass your good

Grant us rest in you! In the name of Jesus I lift up this prayer
to you. Amen.

from here 

6 responses »

  1. Rejoice my friend. You are clothed with the robe of righteousness. You are forgiven.Your sins are swept away like the morning mist.

  2. I love your honesty. We all want control. Life is best when we give it up, though. It already isn’t ours, but the sooner we realize it the better it is for us. And people only disappoint when we expect things out of them, but remember… God will never disappoint you. I love you! Thanks for the honesty. xoxoxox

  3. Thank you for your honesty.

    Always remember you’re view of yourself is always worse during times of depression–a person will be tempted to pick themselves apart.

    My experience with you has been that you are a caring, loving person. Control issues? Like Dianna says, everyone wants control. It keeps us safe. It’s not a fatal character flaw.

    Hey I just noticed I am the second most clicked link. That’s kinda scary, huh?
    ~~my top viewed posts have you in the comments, so maybe Aaron can add that to his seminar for getting more people to a website ~ make comments.
    Control is like everything else, there needs to be a balance. When you fall over to the bad side, it becomes sin. thanks for the comment, and hanging out with me 🙂

  4. Wow. I am impressed by your transparency. These periods of personal brokenness are a necessary part of faith. Without the bleak periods, the bright spots would lose their splendor.

    So adjust, change, embrace conviction- and keep in mind that there are more bright spots coming.
    ~~I have my good days and bad days, somethimes the bad days outnumber the good. But I am so blessed, I need to keep that in the forefront of my mind, heart and soul and thank the Lord daily. thanks for the comment!

  5. Thanks for the idea for Aaron. I’ll pass it on. He wanted to tell you thank you for posing for the pic here. He agreed with me that it was artistic, not slutty.

    And I’ll hang out with you any time. So will Aaron.
    ~~are you trying to get me in trouble with the hubby?! 🙂

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