Joy and Equality

http://rcsprouljr.com/blog/kingdom-note-nunc-dimittis/

 

As I read this, I wonder if a person finds true joy when he/she has let go of worldly things and finally can say ‘I’m ready to be with My Lord”

I often say, I am ready to go, but am I really? Am I ready to give up all the world  gives to me?

Does the pain and suffering have to be more than the happy of life to want to go Home?

Some days was worse than others. I must admit, most of the bad days are my own doing. I am blessed beyond belief, yet things/people do not meet my ‘expectations’ .

Most days I wake up weepy and sad lately. Probably because of the disconnect I have with some of my best friends. And with my church. But again, it’s because I have set too high of expectations for them and they have disappointed me. but alas, who am I but a sinner beyond help without the King, and so are they. Why should I put unwanted and un asked for demands on them?

~~

Equality. a human thing really. Im not quite sure God believes in equality for all. Well, my preconceived notion came from this group of verses:

English Standard Version
God’s Sovereign Choice

1I am speaking the truth in Christ—I am not lying; my conscience bears me witness in the Holy Spirit— 2that I have great sorrow and unceasing anguish in my heart. 3For I could wish that I myself were accursed and cut off from Christ for the sake of my brothers,a my kinsmen according to the flesh. 4They are Israelites, and to them belong the adoption, the glory, the covenants, the giving of the law, the worship, and the promises. 5To them belong the patriarchs, and from their race, according to the flesh, is the Christ, who is God over all, blessed forever. Amen.

6But it is not as though the word of God has failed. For not all who are descended from Israel belong to Israel, 7and not all are children of Abraham because they are his offspring, but “Through Isaac shall your offspring be named.” 8This means that it is not the children of the flesh who are the children of God, but the children of the promise are counted as offspring. 9For this is what the promise said: “About this time next year I will return, and Sarah shall have a son.” 10And not only so, but also when Rebekah had conceived children by one man, our forefather Isaac, 11though they were not yet born and had done nothing either good or bad—in order that God’s purpose of election might continue, not because of works but because of him who calls— 12she was told, “The older will serve the younger.” 13As it is written, “Jacob I loved, but Esau I hated.”

14What shall we say then? Is there injustice on God’s part? By no means! 15For he says to Moses, “I will have mercy on whom I have mercy, and I will have compassion on whom I have compassion.” 16So then it depends not on human will or exertion,b but on God, who has mercy. 17For the Scripture says to Pharaoh, “For this very purpose I have raised you up, that I might show my power in you, and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth.” 18So then he has mercy on whomever he wills, and he hardens whomever he wills.

19You will say to me then, “Why does he still find fault? For who can resist his will?” 20But who are you, O man, to answer back to God? Will what is molded say to its molder, “Why have you made me like this?” 21Has the potter no right over the clay, to make out of the same lump one vessel for honorable use and another for dishonorable use? 22What if God, desiring to show his wrath and to make known his power, has endured with much patience vessels of wrath prepared for destruction, 23in order to make known the riches of his glory for vessels of mercy, which he has prepared beforehand for glory— 24even us whom he has called, not from the Jews only but also from the Gentiles? 25As indeed he says in Hosea,

“Those who were not my people I will call ‘my people,’
and her who was not beloved I will call ‘beloved.’”
26“And in the very place where it was said to them, ‘You are not my people,’
there they will be called ‘sons of the living God.’”

27And Isaiah cries out concerning Israel: “Though the number of the sons of Israelc be as the sand of the sea, only a remnant of them will be saved, 28for the Lord will carry out his sentence upon the earth fully and without delay.” 29And as Isaiah predicted,

“If the Lord of hosts had not left us offspring,
we would have been like Sodom
and become like Gomorrah.”

Israel’s Unbelief

30What shall we say, then? That Gentiles who did not pursue righteousness have attained it, that is, a righteousness that is by faith; 31but that Israel who pursued a law that would lead to righteousnessd did not succeed in reaching that law. 32Why? Because they did not pursue it by faith, but as if it were based on works. They have stumbled over the stumbling stone, 33as it is written,

“Behold, I am laying in Zion a stone of stumbling, and a rock of offense;
and whoever believes in him will not be put to shame.”

http://biblehub.com/esv/romans/9.htm

but it seems that is only about election/predestination, where these verses are all about equality:

http://www.openbible.info/topics/equality

http://www.openbible.info/topics/equal_rights

http://www.gotquestions.org/human-rights.html

so if we follow the logic to the end, if we say we are for the bible, then we are for equality of man, if we are for equality, then we are for equal rights for all men….regardless of color, gender, sexual orientation, geographical location, etc.

Even if we say, well sexual orientation is not like color or gender equality because it is a sin.

Well, so then follow that out and we have  no equality for the addict, the pedophile, the porn star, the drunk, the pharisee, etc.

And regardless of what you may think of a particular sin, all man should be treated equal, right?

~~

In this world we should treat all men equal, it is our responsibility, our job, our right and our expectation for our Lord.

In the next world, God will be the judge and the equalizer. We need not to worry but to love.

 

 

Musings on…. being a Deacon’s Wife

12/19/2014

I pulled some verses about being a deacon, and added to that, a deacon’s wife. I bolded the parts I thought pertained to the wife.

Of course everything that pertains to a deacon should pertain to his wife, they are both servants of the Most High God.

I thought about going over this ‘list’ and typing what what I thought I was doing well at, being a deacon’s wife.

BUT there wasn’t much I could type.

Sidenote: I write this post to remind myself or convict myself of what I need to do better or pray for…. since my husband is on ‘deacon sabbatical’ because he couldn’t control his wife.

[good article from Grace to You]

1 Timothy 3:8-13 ESV

Deacons likewise must be dignified, not double-tongued, not addicted to much wine, not greedy for dishonest gain. They must hold the mystery of the faith with a clear conscience. And let them also be tested first; then let them serve as deacons if they prove themselves blameless. Their wives likewise must be dignified, not slanderers, but sober-minded, faithful in all things. Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.

Acts 6:1-6 ESV

Now in these days when the disciples were increasing in number, a complaint by the Hellenists arose against the Hebrews because their widows were being neglected in the daily distribution. And the twelve summoned the full number of the disciples and said, “It is not right that we should give up preaching the word of God to serve tables. Therefore, brothers, pick out from among you seven men of good repute, full of the Spirit and of wisdom, whom we will appoint to this duty. But we will devote ourselves to prayer and to the ministry of the word.” And what they said pleased the whole gathering, and they chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit, and Philip, and Prochorus, and Nicanor, and Timon, and Parmenas, and Nicolaus, a proselyte of Antioch.

1 Timothy 3:1-13 ESV

The saying is trustworthy: If anyone aspires to the office of overseer, he desires a noble task. Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach, not a drunkard, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome, not a lover of money. He must manage his own household well, with all dignity keeping his children submissive, for if someone does not know how to manage his own household, how will he care for God’s church?

John 12:26 ESV

If anyone serves me, he must follow me; and where I am, there will my servant be also. If anyone serves me, the Father will honor him.

Titus 1:6-9 ESV

If anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife, and his children are believers and not open to the charge of debauchery or insubordination. For an overseer, as God’s steward, must be above reproach. He must not be arrogant or quick-tempered or a drunkard or violent or greedy for gain, but hospitable, a lover of good, self-controlled, upright, holy, and disciplined. He must hold firm to the trustworthy word as taught, so that he may be able to give instruction in sound doctrine and also to rebuke those who contradict it.

Acts 20:28 ESV

Pay careful attention to yourselves and to all the flock, in which the Holy Spirit has made you overseers, to care for the church of God, which he obtained with his own blood.

1 Timothy 3:2 ESV

Therefore an overseer must be above reproach, the husband of one wife, sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, able to teach,

Romans 12:1 ESV / 3 helpful votes

I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship.

1 Timothy 2:8-15
8 I desire then that in every place the men should pray, lifting holy hands without anger or quarreling; 9 likewise also that women should adorn themselves in respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly attire, 10 but with what is proper for women who profess godliness—with good works. 11 Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness. 12 I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. 13 For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 14 and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 15 Yet she will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith and love and holiness, with self-control.

~~

1/1/2015

I have had this post in my ‘drafts’ folder for a while now.  Everytime I try to write about it, I get mad. And sad.

I have never been the normal deacons wife. I am not like any of the other deacons wives.  I am an oxymoron of sorts. To look at me would be to see a crazy casual non traditional [read tattooed, pierced, hair colored or dreaded, bit overweight, pants wearing, farm animal owning ] woman. I don’t go for fashion, I go for comfort and modesty. I am heavily tatted but not heavily ornamented, i.e. manicures, trimmed hair or brows, lots of jewelry, etc.

My theology is really conservative, Calvinistic, reformed and bible based. But you wouldn’t know it by my looks or my family. I believe in the words of the bible being God’s words, but I tend to not push them on others. I have no qualms about speaking what I believe, writing out things I struggle with and giving freely. I believe in the church being in community with the community, with families learning how to preach/teach/show the gospel, to be open to sharing their lives with non-believers. To have one on one discipleship and group evangelicalism.

I fight for the underdog, I love animals more than people, I take anti depressants, I see a counselor, my marriage isn’t perfect by far. I tend to rest on the negative side of life and forget my joy. I drink too much, cuss too much and I eat too much. I feel too much. I tend to think all people think like me [boy, do I ever get shocked when I find out they don’t]. I tend to live in extremes. I tend to think highly of people and then get disappointed by them when they turn out to be…just sinful people. Just. like. me.

Earlier this year I was [and still am] struggling with some issues with my church from the past. Some of my closest friends are involved and I have gone about things in the wrong way. I’m not sure I can or want to apologize for anything I said and I am not sure anything I said was wrong, I just said them out of turn and not in a nice way. I was told I was disparaging the church and leadership of the church in a not-so-nice meeting to discuss what could be done at the church so things that happened in the past would not be repeated.

I went visiting other churches and my husband who was a deacon, and a damn good one at that,  got put on sabbatical because he could not control his wife. I’m not quite sure if he was put on because I was visiting other churches or because I stood up and addressed the council [even opposed them in a way] maybe both.  I have been repeatedly chastised for being honest about myself and people around me, including my church, in my blog writing.

When my hubby was asked to be a deacon he made it quite clear that he could not control me and was fine with it. He understood where I was coming from and felt that the good things I did way overpowered the bad. The council understood that and I guess was ok with it as long as it wasn’t directed negatively toward the church.

I cannot change the things that were done wrong in the past, I can only strive to stir the hearts of the leadership to make changes for the better in the church.

I cannot change how things were done in the past where my long-time friends are concerned and I can only hope and pray no more damage will be done and that I can get over things [that really didn’t even have to do with me personally] I should actually mind my own business and not worry about what happens to others, right? I should really just come to terms with the fact that people who I thought were my elders in spiritual and earthly things can and, in fact, do make wrong decisions [even if they are only wrong in my head]

My husband is patiently waiting out some leadership decisions and I am standing with one foot out of the door. Maybe I just need to come to terms with all this in my head and my heart before long. Yeah probably.

Would I be a different deacons wife if my husband got reinstated? Nope. Is that a good thing?

 

 

 

Spiritual Gift… Serving

I was trying to find an old post about anger and found this one

http://musingsofahomeengineer.com/2007/12/20/your-motivational-spiritual-gift-serving/

I received this in my inbox yesterday morning. I had forgotten I had taken the test
On a scale of 0 to 22 I rated in these areas:
Organization = 5
Teaching = 10
Mercy = 7
Prophecy = 6
Exhortation = 8
Serving = 21
Giving = 9
This is an 11 page document but what I found interesting is the list of ministries I’d be deemed suitable for:

 

Go check it out, I think it still rings true today.

The Home Engineer

musingssmall

Musings on….. On Guard Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church

9781939946515m

from here

This book. Is everything I wanted to say to our church but couldn’t articulate.

A bit of background. Hubby and I went to our church council to talk about putting some safeguards in place and having some more resources available for kids and parents affected by child abuse. This book deals with sexual abuse. Mostly by an adult to a child. In a church setting.

We tried to come up with plan for prevention and a plan for responding. We, as fallen humans, sucked at trying to get the importance of the message across.

This book states in plain terms what we only couldn’t formulate even in our minds.

I bought the council members each a book and I devoured the book in a night.

The book discusses the importance of stewardship of children, the types of predators, the false assumptions we make about predators and asks the question “Why the church”?

The numbers and statistics shown in the book would astound the average person.

Probably the best sentence “..We must remember our high calling as parents, pastors, and children’s ministry workers – the God five charge to love, protect, and shepherd children under our care.’ [pg 11]

Creating a child protection policy is one thing we want to see happen in our church, background checks, also. This book gives an outline on how to begin to write out a policy and guidelines for background checks.

A check in and check out policy for the youth/kids groups/nursery. Being a member first before becoming involved in church ministry. Putting windowed doors or making dutch doors on class rooms. When sunday school is over, lock up all the doors. Train all volunteers.

Preparing before it happens means pastors/leaders being humble in caring and planning. Parents who are vigilant and understand the importance. Teens and kids, and even parents, going thru a class/curriculum on child safety AND sex.

there is a whole chapter on getting to know your community and resources. God-given resources that a church should look toward to help victims and abusers. Churches aren’t usually equipped to give specialized help to individuals.

The next few chapters deal with responding to an abuse that has already happened.

I plan on going through the endnotes and look at some of the reference material he used in the book.

I would love to have my church, your church, any and all churches read this book, prayerfully consider the importance of loving, protecting and teaching our kids.

~~

a couple things I found online:

wrfnet.org

child molestation prevention 

minibook

gospel coalition article [good quick read]

When the child abuser has a bible 

clergy as Mandatory reporters

 

My Arch Nemesis ~ Myself

I think. Alot. Too much. I also can talk a lot. I need to talk, its my way of processing things, I guess.

I feel better when I have someone to talk to. I also have abused that right/privilege on occasion.

I used to talk to my son. About things that I probably shouldn’t have. Adult things, my things, problems, wishes, positive and negative.

I try to talk to my husband. He doesn’t listen very well. It makes me feel like I am not important to him. I get frustrated, disappointed and mad with him.

I have/had a few friends I could confide in but managed to make a mess out of that.

I started seeing a counselor. again. I have to pay to get to talk to someone. But I am trying to talk myself out of going to her. I wanted someone to just tell the things that were bothering me and have them tell me whether I was right or wrong. I pretty much know if I am in the wrong, I need to change. How to change… not so much.

Figuring out why I am like I am… not too hard.

Lots of family issues.

I try to talk to my mom. She does all the talking. Not a word gets in that doesn’t come from her mouth. Of course when I do get to talk, I get those words used against me. I was always talked down to, told I was stupid, not affirmed. My family is very negative. I inherited that. I hate that about myself.

I can almost self-counsel myself.

Example: why do I get mad at my hubby when he ignores me? How do I handle it? How can I get him to realize its important to me? If he just never gets it, how do I deal with it?

Its one thing to lay all your hope, joy and satisfaction in Christ. But quite another to walk it out in everyday life.

Why do I not like physical displays of affections? Why am I so negative? Why do harp/bitch/nag? Why do I get all angsty over certain stuff? Why do I let others get ‘under my skin’?

I have tried all the suggestions counselors have given me before. but they don’t seem to work. Why does my circumstances or other people affect my attitude so much?

How do i fix it?

fighting-against-yourself-23632042

 

 

Feelings….Whoa, Whoa, Whoa, Feelings

Was working on my bible study and these words came up: 
I had thought that passion and compassion were opposites, but I am wrong.
I see that compassion comes with a prefix and suffix; a desire to alleviate the suffering or misfortune of another being.
Compassion is what we, as a whole, lack. 
Thats all I got. 
Be blessed, pray about these words and how we can incorporate them into our lives. 
Compassion
noun
1.

a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.
verb (used with object)
2.

Archaic. to compassionate.
bible gateway    most of the time compassion is used to describe the Lord toward His people.
BBB classic  synonym~mercy
~~
Passion
noun
1.

any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.
2.

strong amorous feeling or desire; love; ardor.
3.

strong sexual desire; lust.
4.

an instance or experience of strong love or sexual desire.
5.

a person toward whom one feels strong love or sexual desire.
6.

a strong or extravagant fondness, enthusiasm, or desire for anything:

a passion for music.
7.

the object of such a fondness or desire:

Accuracy became a passion with him.
bible gateway  only in new testament and always in the negative
BBB classic  to suffer, feel, be vexed
~~
Empathy
noun
1.

the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.
2.

the imaginative ascribing to an object, as a natural object or work of art, feelings or attitudes present in oneself:

By means of empathy, a great painting becomes a mirror of the self.
~~
Sympathy
noun, plural sympathies.
1.

harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another.
2.

the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions.
3.

the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, especially in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.
BBB classic    synonym for mercy

A Little Game of Catch-Up

so, hey, I’m still here. I come here and write things, but never finish.

I think of grandiose themes and rants and studies and research to put on here and then life grabs me and takes me in a different direction.

Probably a good thing, I have a habit of pissing people off. I think I am a realist. My hubby says I am a pessimist.

IMG_1000

 

My step son got married. They had a Day of the Dead wedding. Pretty crazy, pretty fun.

Samantha 92014 (2)This little girl was a client, she became real sick and I didn’t want her to die in her house alone. [the owner died and I am taking care of the 9 cats in their own home until owners can be found

oh, by the way, here is the listings for 2 of the cats: https://www.petfinder.com/pet-search?shelterid=WA618

So she died in my arms, cuddled in a blankie, warm and safe. Death is sad.

tempThese crazy kids are some of my clients. Lizzie, Triscuit, Ernie and Mickie.

IMG_20141008_132720I put my pig in a dress. Just like a 3 year old, she had it off in about 2 minutes. Priscilla turned 2 this month.

On Instagram there is a video of her eating her birthday pumpkin pie. Check it out at: http://instagram.com/kristinascrittercare

My son joined this network of bloggers and here is his 2nd post: http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/2014/11/04/suicide-prevention-overnight-walks/

more to come…..

 

 

 

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