How to Fiercely Love and Protect Someone in Difficult Times

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Remember you cannot control anyone else. Just YOURself.

1. Cry with them

2. Laugh with them

3. Listen to them

4. Keep your mouth shut.

a. Seriously. Unless they specifically ask for opinion, advice, help. Keep it zipped.

b. Be prepared to have kind, good and sane advice for them.

5. Follow this easy guide…

1 Corinthians 13  (NIV)

4 Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.

6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.

7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

 

6. Keep in touch. Send a note, a card, encourage. Keep doing it. Especially with a death, people forget that the survivor still lives and has to go on. Fiercely loving them means being in it for the long haul.

7. Empathy: : the action of understanding, being aware of, being sensitive to, and vicariously experiencing the feelings, thoughts, and experience of another of either the past or present without having the feelings, thoughts, and experience fully communicated in an objectively explicit manner; also : the capacity for this.

8. Take into consideration [empathy] what they are going through. Emotions run high and they are scared, sad, mad, depressed, sometimes in a chokingly exhausting way.

9. Offer to help [and only help them in #5 ways] Bring a meal, babysit, run errands, go to mtgs with them, sit in mourning with them, forgive the people they forgive, love the people they choose to love.

10. Keep your mouth shut. Keep your hands and feet close. Delete all distractions from your life that interfere with fiercely loving your friend/family member.

11. You can only control YOURself.

12. Last but never ever least. Pray. If you are not a praying person. Do whatever, meditate, light candles, etc. Just do it.

Please feel free to comment below if you have any other advice for fiercely loving others in difficult times.

*Dedicated to those who have suffered loss. I love you.

Musings on… Toxic Parents by Dr. Susan Forward

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This book has been very eye opening, sad, depressing and painful. Yet a very, very good read.

I can only read a chapter or two at a time. I have discovered I am way more of a toxic parent than I originally thought.

And my own parents, especially my mother is very toxic. Which I knew. Most of the techniques I have already ‘done’ in healing, but it is hard to fully heal with the toxic parent still being toxic.

With that being said,

 

http://www.amazon.com/Toxic-Parents-Overcoming-Hurtful-Reclaiming/dp/0553381407

 

http://www.carovnezrcadlo.cz/TOXIC-PARENTS.pdf

GUILTY FEELINGS…. Whoa whoa whoa….

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The 6 Different Types Of Procrastinators

Procrastination tips for everyone:

– Get help from others (professors, friends, family) to stay accountable.

– Keep a daily journal to evaluate your use of time.

– Practice visualization. Envision the changes you want to make in your life — how it feels to make the change, and what your life looks like after the changes are made.

– Create a timeline for completing a task or achieving a goal, with specific, short-term steps along the way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

So, feeling guilty. Guilty that I have a few hours off this afternoon and just want to go to bed.

Guilty that I came home and didn’t even let the dogs out of the bedroom, so I could relax. And blog.

Guilty that I don’t make more time for volunteering stuff. [but my schedule is so crazy it is hard to plan]

Guilty that I am not upstairs knitting and doing school work.

Guilty about not having enough gumption to go pull weeds. [oh, it is raining now]

I am a perfectionist procrastinator with a dash of defier and overdoer.

Guilty that I have too many irons in the fire and hoping i don’t mess any of them up.

Guilty that I have a great life but always think I need to change something, so something different, focus on the bad.

Guilty that I asked the doctor to change my meds.

Guilty that I am worried about some health issues, when others have it way worse than me. Dying, losing family, homeless, chronic illness, etc.

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